Lesson in Forgiveness

There's probably a lot I learned about forgiveness as a child from my mother, but another lesson has been on my mind.

I thought I was over it. That I wasn't really hurt. Then finally confessed some bitter feelings to a friend the other day. About someone else. To be honest, she isn't the only one I've "confessed to". I woke from a dream that really expressed how I was feeling, but ended in the other person being humiliated and me laughing about it. Wow. I felt terrible and let my friend know how sorry I was that I had involved her in my anger.

Something I thought I had forgotten came flooding back to me. In high school, a friend and I had a falling out that ended up involving quite a few people. It culminated in a diminished Prom for several. I was very angry and woke from a dream one morning. This friend had been physically hurt in the dream, and though it wasn't at my hands, I knew I was directing the dream.

That's the first time I remember consciously realizing how unforgiveness can really hurt ourselves. I forgave her, apologized for my transgressions, tried to make restitution, and lost a friend anyway.

So, I keep taking my feelings to the Lord. I know I'm taking things personally that have nothing to do with me. Sometimes I have feelings that my mind can't talk me out of. But God can and will, and I'll keep asking Him to do so.